What Grown-Ups Can Give Dad for Father's Day

By Dr. Linda Nielsen

Wondering what to buy your father for Father’s Day? Another tie or tool? Sports or car “stuff”? Or are you relying on someone else to make the decision for you? (Please tell me you weren’t going to ask your father to make you a list of things he would like!)

Many daughters and sons -- even middle aged daughters and sons -- have trouble buying gifts for their dads. In many cases, the daughter or son doesn’t know Dad well enough on a personal level to choose a meaningful gift. Even though you may love your father, it’s hard to choose a gift when you don’t really know much about his daily life, his personal interests, his dreams for the future, or his past. Then too, many daughters make the mistake of believing that because their father is male, he doesn’t care or doesn’t pay much attention to what kind of gifts people give him.

So instead of buying the same kinds of things you’ve always chosen for him, surprise your father with more personal, more memorable gifts like these:

- Take your father out to lunch or dinner -- just the two of you -- so you can spend some private time together. Or prepare the meal yourself just for the two of you.

- Put together a photograph album with pictures of him and you. Beside each picture write something loving about him from the time each picture was taken.

- Take your father to a movie, buy him popcorn. Treat him to an ice cream afterwards. Have some fun together.

- Go back to the neighborhood where your dad grew up and get him to tell you stories about his life as you walk or drive around -- just the two of you.

- Find out what your father’s favorite music was when he was a teenager and when he was a young man. Then buy it for him. After he opens it, sit with him and listen to the music. Get him to talk about what was happening in his life while that music was popular.

- Get and camera or a camcorder and go off for a few hours to take pictures of places (or people) that mean a lot to both of you.

- Have pictures of the two of you put onto a t-shirt or a calendar for your father.

- Send or take a big bunch of balloons to your father at work with a note telling him 3 specific things you love or admire about him. The other dads will notice and your dad will get public recognition for being such a loving father.

- Buy tickets for you two to an event your father enjoys (sports, music, museum).

- Read up on something your father enjoys (fishing, grilling fish, growing roses). Then buy him a book or special item that relates to that interest.

Dr. Linda Nielsen is the author of Embracing Your Father: How to Create the Relationship You Always Wanted with Your Dad. (McGraw Hill, 2004). A psychology professor at Wake Forest University, her work is featured on a PBS documentary “Fathers and Daughters: Journeys of the Heart.” (June, 2005) Visit her Web site for more information about fathers and daughters: www.wfu.edu/~nielsen/ .